On The Night You Were Born

Around 7 pm while on skype with family, laying in my hospital bed eating chips an dip, I slowly started to feel uncomfortable. Thinking the chips an dip were not sitting right with my belly. Then I noticed a pattern every 10 min. Panicing inside wishing I was wrong, My auntie an sis keep asking me if I'm ok as they obviously started to notice how uncomfortable i was becoming. Telling me to call the nurse's an have them check me out. I remember my sis asking do you think this is it? Do you think you are in labour? In huge denial an wishing No he can't come yet I am only 30 weeks. I knew I was. I remember going through a contraction an hearing my sis say I have seen that face before you are in labour. An she hit the highway to try an reach the hospital before my son was born. Everything after that  happened so fast. In hisartics an scared not knowing whats going to happen an is my baby gonna be ok. Nurses trying to keep me calm an breathing through the contractions, They do a quick ultrasound to check where baby is. He is breach with cord underneath him. Emergancy C-Section.. With labour progressing fastly me getting more frantic... What is going to happen, will his lungs be devloped enough, will he breath on his own..I need my sis, I can't do this with out her. I remember being wheeled down the hall an it was like i was in a dream so surreal into the OR we go. Repeatedly begging an crying  for my sis as they prep me for C-section...finally a nurse says your sis is here she is just getting gowned up.

 Next all I can say is Koodo's to all you women out there that have had C-Section, I was a baby through mine's, I would take natural labour anyday over an over before I had another C-Section. It was the worst thing ever, would have never gotten through it with out my sis rubbing my forehead an telling me its gonna be ok. Oh an yes giving me play by play detailed
about what they were doing an what it all looked like..I laugh now but didn't then. Again thanks for that  Meggie. I remember her looking down at me an saying his coming lin they gonna take him out now. My heartstop as all i could do was look at her face an watch her expressions. An all of a sudden i heard a lil cry, just 1 lil cry out an I knew that was my boy saying mommy I'm ok. He was rushed away with the NIC team for them to asses him, I layed there an asked over an over is he ok, is he ok, meggie tell me he is ok. Then on the ceiling the T.V turned on an i layed my eyes on my lil lil boy for the first time, I was flooded with emotion as I am now as I type. I could see he had lots of hair an i could  my sis holding his tiny lil hand . He was moving an breathing on his own,with a Apgar score of 8 after 1 min, an weighing 1370 g (3lbs) 15.4 inches long born at 12:12 am Feb 24.

I remember waking up in recovery an looking over at my sis who had the biggest perma smile on her face. He is perfect Linds she said. An began to tell me every lil thing about him. How small his hands were, How he looked just like Corey an his big sis, all his hair he had. An how well he had been doing while I was in recovery. Before being taken to my room they took me to the NICU so I could offically meet Kayde. OMG he was so tiny an cute an perfect, I instantly fell in LOVE. I was lucky enough because he was doing so well they opened the incubater an i got to touch an hold his hand a few secs. Never in my life could i have ever imagined how small 3 lbs could be till that night.

I was taken back to my room to rest few hrs as it would be morning soon an I could come back down an see him then. In an out of sleep feeling itching my face off an watching the clock as I wanted it to be morning, I wanted to be with Kayde an know he was still ok. I wanted to feel like everything was real, you know what I mean..Like with my other two from the time they came out they were mines an in my care. Right beside me for me to stay up all night an stare at. This was all so scarey an differnet.