2 Years Old!!!

Dear Peanut,

 At 12:12 am you took your first breath of life, as I took my first breathe in what I am now proud to call myself. I am someone I never knew I could be, because of you. You've showed me and taught me so much in so little. I wouldn't change you for the world peanut but I am sure trying to change the world for you!!!

2 yrs ago and just a few hrs ago you were layed in my arms for the first time. I find myself still struggling with this. All the emotions still feel so new and raw almost as if it were happening all over again. I feel we were cheated of our first meeting. I struggle with my own perception of what it was to be, the only thing that was always clear to me was my ♥ for you, it only grew amongst all that was happening. What I wanted my perception to be, would be: I got to sit there with you, all 3lbs and 15 inches of perfectness for hours, taking you in,checking you out, bonding, spilling my love I already had for you. unable to take my eyes off you as I fell head over heels in love with you over and over again.

With all that I have gained since though. In my perception now, I know I won the grand lottery prize there is to be won!!! If everyone was as lucky as I!! I see with different eyes and love with a kinder heart and my perception is no longer limited.

HAPPY 2ND BIRTHDAY PEANUT!!!! 

Another year has gone by. Where did it go?? You have accomplished so so so much this year. You have turned into this wonderful smarty pant ball of signing anything and everything. My little love bug with a smile to light up any room. Owner of the worlds best bear hugs.Oh how mommy loves those hugs. Owner of the wet sloppy open mouth kiss's too!! The way you hold my face in your hands when you kiss me will always keep me coming back for more. Its the most sweetest thing ever. " NO" is a word you have come to like a lot!! Finally mom is becoming  one you are using more too, seeing as you have be able to say it for a long time now. It's music to my ears!!! You have no fear with your devilish ways experimenting climbing as you come into your own little self. Independents you are finding and as much as mommy wants to say she is in denial about my baby growing up, I am really beyond beaming inside watching you grow. I look forward to what this next year holds for you peanut, right there beside you every step I will be cheering you on.


 Your birthday party this year is a " Pajamas Party" courtesy of you big sis!!! She planned it out weeks ago for you. She says that's what you told her you wanted!!! Lol, so that it will be. We all have a new pair of jammies for  the event. See......

All This And So Much More....

I Am:
I am a lemon with a twist,
I am a dewdrop full of mist,
I am a child filled with bliss,
I am but a gentle kiss,
I am invisible but I show,
I am a burnt out candle but I still glow,
I am bold, though you may not know,
I am used, but still brand new,
I am a mystery without a clue,
I am false, but forever true,
I am me and also you,
I am a flower opening my buds,
I do not fight with fists, but with hugs,
I am a push without a shove
Creeping, Oh So Softly, I am LOVE.

I am deaf, but I can hear,
I am afraid, but have no fears,
I am forever constant throughout the year,
I am smart and my actions make it clear,
I am the doll who was thrown in the corner,
I am at the funeral standing next to the mourner,
I am with the sad, small boy who people call a slow learner,
I stand beside the person who is rejected because he is a foreigner,
I hear the cry of a small boy saying his prayers,
I see the hearts of millions set up in flares,
I taste the bitter words and nasty stares,
I can touch all, and feel there many tears,
I am with the stressed man, living in strife,
I am in touch with the husband that lost his wife,
I am stopping the man who is holding a knife,
Creeping, Oh So Softly, I am LIFE

You are my life peanut and I wouldn't change that or you for the world.  Your special extra chromosome, is just that "special". The things you have taught me, the way you have changed me, the way you inspire me. I am proud to be me and even Prouder to be your mom.  I wouldn't be who I am today without who you are. You are Exactly WHO and WHAT and WHERE you are suppose to be!!! The sky is your limit peanut, reach baby reach <3

Love Mommy xoxo's

I LOVE YOU!!!!

I have been singing you this song for as long as I can remember! I love the intense stare from your beautiful eyes as you watch me sing to you. This song can normally calm you regardless of what is going on. The best part about this song as you can see from the video is that it taught you to sign " I love you". There is nothing that melts my heart the way you do when I look at you and  say I love you, the most sweetest thing ever.

 

Eye love you too!!!

 

 

Skinnamarinky dinky dink
Skinnamarinky do,
I love you!

Skinnamarinky dinky dink
Skinnamarinky do,
I love you!

I love you in the morning,
And in the afternoon
I love you in the evening,
Underneath the moon…

Skinnamarinky dinky dink
Skinnamarinky do,
I love you!

Boop Boop Bee Doop!
YEAH!!!!

Flooded With More Then I Knew What To Do With!!!

Dear Peanut,

 Every milestone, together we work and check them off one by one. On your own time of course!! Every milestone has been cherished and celebrated, so very sweet and so worth the wait and the work.  On Jan 8th @ 23m you pulled to stand for the 1st time!!! Out of no where!! Surprised, Ecstatic, Proud beyond proud are just a few of the emotions that came with this milestone. Oh Peanut!!! I will never stop telling you what an amazing boy you are. There is not a day that goes by that I don't know that whatever we set out to do and learn together we WILL do it. The sky is our limit and I mean that more then you may ever know. It is because of you I know that and believe that.  

This milestone was different then all the rest for mommy for so many reason. I was flooded with more emotion then I really knew what to do with. It caught me so off guard, this is something we have worked so very hard for. It is a day I have waited for,for both of us. I always knew we would get here, I never doubted that or you. What I didn't know was the emotional ride I was in for. Mommy made a promise to you in the first few weeks of your life.( I made lots of promises to you those weeks) but in this case that promise was not to compare you. No chart or piece of paper with milestones could every tell me who or what you are going to do or be. I have always felt very proud of myself as I threw out those milestone charts, and have never put to much thought into them since. (Or at least I thought). Each milestone along the way has happened when it should have happened. On your time and when you were ready for them to happen.You are amazing .

 Mommy was so over filled with happiness,joy, pride tears poured from my eyes as I hugged you and cried and broke down right there on the floor. I couldn't stop crying, I couldn't catch my breathe peanut, I was SOOOOOO proud, but I also sat there and cried because at that moment I really broke my promise to you. I cried and I cried because you have worked so hard to get there and selfishly, I compared you for that moment. I am sorry peanut, I was overwhelmed realizing you worked 13m longer to achieve this milestone. With that know I wouldn't have it any other way, that day I screamed it to the roof top and beyond of my pride in you. When you get older you will be able to tease mommy as I was flooded with so much pride about you standing that for a week afterwards I cried every time I seen you do it or told anyone about you doing it. :) Most of all peanut my emotions came from, your world just opened up to a whole new level of exploring, a level I know you have been ready for a long time ago. You have learned so much from your big sis and the thought of you on your way to chasing her around makes me ecstatic!! I am excited to watch you grow and gain all the new skills that come with standing. Way to Go Peanut!!!

 Yes, I also know this is just the beginning of milestones that will catch me off guard and send me spinning with my emotions. Kayde Corey Sanders-Grant I can not tell you how I look forward to those days of celebration and spinning emotions. I love you to Pluto and back!!!

Love: Mommy

1st Big Milestones of 2013!!!

Jan. 7th,

 Well well well... What can I say peanut. You sure no how to surprise mommy. :) Out of no where you (moglie styled) it this morning. So exciting and you knew it you were laughing, you knew you had never done that before and so you should be the proudest of yourself. I know I am. You just put yourself 1 step closer to standing on your own. Way to go peanut!!!!